hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I love you. Go after that dick
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
