He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
