i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
