I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
