wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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