So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
