I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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