i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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