At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
