So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Sorry about my life...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
