And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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