So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
