You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
third nipple confirmed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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