she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
