Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
