watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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