I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
