i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
