i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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