How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
