So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
