i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
