Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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