we have officially lost it.
She is in my trunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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