What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
