she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize