I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
