I hate all girls vehemently.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
