Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
