so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
