you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
