My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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