East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
