Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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