Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
