your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
