Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
