i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
