if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
