i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
