great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize