I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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