So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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