This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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