Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
