i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
