no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
