thus making me awesome and them whores
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
