I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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