Well douche your snatch and let's go!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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