He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
