? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
