i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
