you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize