i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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