It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
