But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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