I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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