I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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