sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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