I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize