Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
