taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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