Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
