my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
