My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
