not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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