I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
