Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
