when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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