now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
